What's In Your Medicine Cabinet?

Do you have any of these in your bathroom cabinet?  Something you need to take every day to stay healthy?  Me too.  I’ve had to be on the same medication now for over 16 years.  I don’t anticipate that changing in my lifetime.

What ailment do you need to medicate?  High blood pressure?  Allergies?  Heart problems?  Blood thinner?  Diabetes? HIV?  Cancer?

With most sicknesses or diseases, we certainly never planned to have to be on medication for the rest of our lives.  But knowing that it is what is best for our bodies, that is what we do.

My medication is for depression.  I know my body can’t produce the necessary chemicals for me to stay healthy, so I depend on my medication to do that for me.

Did your thoughts just change when I told you what my medication was for?

Read the rest of my story today over at Sisters in Bloom.

Party Anyone?

The house was completely decked out in party attire.  Balloons, streamers, hats for the guests, cake and music.

But I was the only one who attended.

Why?

It was a Pity Party.

Who wants to attend one of those, right?  No wonder I was the only one who knocked on the door.  I was the guest of honor, slumped in my chair with my hat all crooked.

Have you been there friend?  Party of one?

Sadly, it's not the only party I have thrown for myself.  I've been here before.  It happens every time I listen to the world's standards.  When I am looking for attention, jumping up and down, hoping someone notices me, standing over here in this corner of the blogosphere.

And after I've had my tantrum, God sends a comment, a tweet, or a sweet Skype conversation to remind me that this is my Father's business I am doing here on this blog, not my own. 

So I sit up straight, wipe the frosting off my chin, take my hat off, and clean up those party favors.  I sit myself back down at my computer and begin typing out my thoughts and feelings again, praying that God will use them to help someone else.  After all, that is why I started this blogging journey....I knew there were others like me who might be encouraged knowing they weren't alone in this difficult, messy life.

So come on, will you join me?  Let's get back to the real party.  The one where God rejoices over us with singing!!  Now that is my kind of party!!

How God is Setting Me Free

Being who God made me to be has been a lifelong journey.  In the summer of 2007 I had another deep struggle with depression. For anyone who has been through that before, you know of the darkness found there. As I looked deep within myself to determine what had taken me to that dark place once again, I discovered that I was allowing the world to shape me, not God. I was seeing myself through the world's eyes and not as God sees me. It was a huge revelation to me, as I saw that I worried and tarried over what others thought of me. So much so, that it guided my conversations, and I talked with people based on what I thought they wanted to hear. It is very difficult to explain, but I was not in a good place.

But this time my depression was different. I knew this time He was doing an incredible work in me, purging my heart, and shaping me into something, someone different.  Now three years later, that lesson remains fresh in my mind.  I continue to grow in this area and sometimes catch myself as I realize just how very different I have become since that summer.  God continues to set me free from this people pleasing obsession.  I feel far more comfortable just being myself and not worrying about how others perceive me.  It had once been almost debilitating for me.

So who is God making me to be? I don't know yet. But as Joyce Meyer says, "You will never sense fulfillment in life unless you reach the goal of being yourself." I've been working on that the last couple of years.  Through it all, I remind myself quite often that no matter what happens in my life, I am living only for an Audience of One, My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  That is true freedom.

Depression: Medicate or Meditate?

Before we begin this discussion about depression, I want to declare that this is a hot button for me. I will be expressing some very strong opinions based on my own life experiences.

Choosing medication as a treatment for depression has somehow become a debate amongst Christians. Many have expressed their opinion that depression is a spiritual issue, and can be healed by  a closer walk with God. {deep breath} THIS IS FALSE!  Yes God can heal anything he chooses.  Yes a strong faith is necessary to make it through depression.  NO it is not just a spiritual issue.

Look at this definition of depression from the Mayo Clinic:


"Depression is a medical illness that involves the mind and body. Also called major depression, major depressive disorder and clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave. Depression can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and depression may make you feel as if life isn't worth living.

More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn't a weakness, nor is it something that you can simply "snap out" of.  Depression is a chronic illness that usually requires long-term treatment, like diabetes or high blood pressure."  It is believed that an imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain causes depression. Serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine are chemical messengers that operate within the brain to influence mood. If these get out of balance, a person can become more sensitive to the onset of depression.

This is the issue.  If you have high blood pressure, you take medication to control it.  If you have diabetes, you take insulin to control it.  If you have a headache, you take an ibuprofen.  If you have cancer, you get chemotherapy treatments.  Why has depression been chosen as a disease that should not be treated with medication?


Friends if you are advising someone with depression that they should not be taking medication, you are doing them wrong.  You are standing in judgment.  And the consequences could be severe.  Suicide is highest among people with depression.


I have had over 5 different episodes of depression, 2 of them severe. Severe means that I couldn't function on a daily basis.  I slept for more than 12 hours in a day.  I sat still in a chair for the remaining 12 hours.  I couldn't eat.  I couldn't concentrate on anything.   I have been on medication for each and every one of those episodes.  Even now, when it appears that life is normal for me, it is because I am on a precaution dose of that same medication.   

There is no shame in taking medication for depression!!

Now, let me step off my soap box before I fall down.  I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge that, yes, there are spiritual aspects to depression.  Sin, guilt, and shame can play a major role.  A right relationship with God is crucial.  Faith in our healing Savior is, as always, a life preserver in any precarious time in our life.  My last bout of depression happened during a great time in my Christian walk.  I clung daily to the words of my God and Savior.  My bible was my constant companion, always on my lap, open to encouraging scripture.  It was during this time that I learned so much about what God wanted to teach me about myself.  It is during these times that God comes so near, you can almost feel his breath next to you.  You can read more about my story from that summer here.

I hope I haven't offended anyone with my very strong views on this subject.  God has allowed and provided many medical miracles.  Don't let a skewed understanding of depression keep you from seeking the treatment you need to fight this medical condition. 

I welcome your comments and feedback about this issue.  I have talked with many people who have been through the same experiences I have, and I am so very happy to talk to you more about it.  If you leave a comment, I promise I will stop by for a visit!  Thanks for listening!

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If you feel you may be having symptoms of depression, please see your family doctor.  They can easily diagnosis this common problem and get you started on the road back to health!!

Symptoms of Depression 

• Feelings of sadness or unhappiness
• Irritability or frustration, even over small matters
• Loss of interest or pleasure in normal activities
• Reduced sex drive
• Insomnia or excessive sleeping
• Changes in appetite — depression often causes decreased appetite and weight loss, but in some people it causes increased cravings for food and weight gain
• Agitation or restlessness — for example, pacing, hand-wringing or an inability to sit still
• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
• Indecisiveness, distractibility and decreased concentration
• Fatigue, tiredness and loss of energy — even small tasks may seem to require a lot of effort
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or blaming yourself when things aren't going right
• Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
• Frequent thoughts of death, dying or suicide
• Crying spells for no apparent reason
• Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

For some people, depression symptoms are so severe that it's obvious something isn't right. Others people feel generally miserable or unhappy without really knowing why.
Depression affects each person in different ways, so depression symptoms vary from person to person. Inherited traits, age, gender and cultural background all play a role in how depression may affect you.
 

S.A.D.

Up until 1995, I was pretty normal.(I think) In the spring of 1995, my then husband dropped a bombshell on me. He wasn't in love with me anymore, and yes he was seeing someone else. The months that followed were the darkest, most difficult days of my life. My clinical depression was so bad that at times, I forgot to feed my 4 year old. I stayed with my brother's family for awhile, until some meds could get me up off the floor. I have struggled with depression ever since.

I have been on meds now for going on two years after my last bad bout with a round of depression. It helps keep my moods from swinging so severally. But even now, while on meds, I still have the winter blues. I live in Illinois, and the sun rarely makes appearances during the winter months. Even today it is just gray and gloomy. It sends me back to bed.....lots.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), also known as winter depression or winter blues, is a mood disorder in which people who have normal mental health throughout most of the year experience depressive symptoms in the winter or, less frequently, in the summer, spring or autumn, repeatedly, year after year. SAD is not a unique mood disorder, but is "a specifier of major depression".

The US National Library of Medicine notes that "some people experience a serious mood change when the seasons change. They may sleep too much, have little energy, and crave sweets and starchy foods. They may also feel depressed. Though symptoms can be severe, they usually clear up." (from Wikipedia)

I hate wasting so much time sleeping, but some days there is just no motivation to do anything else. I had been beating myself up about it, when my husband said, "Well if that is your only symptom of depression right now, we can live with that." What sweet relief that simple statement had for me. I'm sure he had no idea the grace that was laced through those few words. It allowed me to just relax about the whole thing. I am still trying to limit my sleep, but some days I just can't fight it off.

The interesting flip side to this is that during the spring and summer, my husband frequently has to ask me to sit down! I am on the go from morning until night. I am outside as much as possible, long after my family has abandoned me for reasons like, heat, bugs, boredom, etc. My hubs has to call me in some nights! I love my garden, my dogs, my gazebo, the summer air, and the sweet summer sounds. The differences in my personality are night and day. It is hard to reconcile within myself.

How about you? Do you feel the winter blues? Does someone you love? I'd love to hear how you combat those long days of winter. (yes I have a sun lamp!) But most of all, if you have a dear one who struggles through the winter, offer them grace. It is the best gift you can give. We are already hard enough on ourselves!!