Being Who God Made You To Be

Being who God made me to be is a lifelong journey. Since yesterday was my birthday, I took a little inventory to see what had transpired over the last year. Had I changed? Had I allowed God to work in me? I don't think I gave him much room to work because I had my own plan. All three semesters last year I was in college, and had little time for anything else. (See my last post!) I must confess that God did not come first, maybe not even second. Not much to be proud of.

That is not to say that I didn't see where God was working in me. In the summer of 2007 I had another deep struggle with depression. For anyone who has been through that before, you know of the darkness found there. As I looked deep within myself to determine what had taken me to that dark place once again, I discovered that I was allowing the world to shape me, not God. I was seeing myself through the world's eyes and not as God sees me. It was a huge revelation to me, as I saw that I worried and tarried over what others thought of me. So much so, that is guided my conversations, and I talked with people based on what I thought they wanted to hear. It is very difficult to explain, but I was not in a good place.

But the amazing thing that was different about this bout with depression was that I knew without a doubt that God was right there with me. So many times during depression, I would blame God and yell out at him for "doing" this to me. But this was different. I knew this time He was doing an incredible work in me, purging my heart, and shaping me into something different.

My garden was a healing oasis that summer. I spent hours

on a chase lounge reading my bible, and enjoying the beauty that surrounded me. By his grace, the most amazing butterflies were in my garden that year. Ones that I had never seen before and have not seen since! My garden was in it's full glory. And I know that these were the greatest gifts sent my way as I healed and searched for answers.

A lot of time has passed since that summer. But the memories are still so fresh of how God cared for me in my very own garden. "He brought me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and the mire, and gave me a firm place to stand." Psalm 40:2

So who is God making me to be? I don't know yet. But as Joyce Meyer says, "You will never sense fulfillment in life unless you reach the goal of being yourself." I've been working on that the last couple of years.......how about you? I'm sure that is who God wants you to be....YOU!