Battlefield of my Mind

I feel bruised and broken. It has been going on for weeks…..a raging war within my head, a spiritual battle for my mind. A literal battle of choices between what is right and what I should be doing versus what I want to do.It sounds very familiar: “For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.”Galatians 5:17

I’ve been here before, so why did it take me so long to identify this battle? Why did I not feel the breath of Satan down my neck in an obvious assault? Why was I not seeing his subtle maneuvers? His movements are slow and deliberate. He blindsides quietly and precisely. He builds strongholds one brick at a time over many years, and we don’t notice.

This battle has been about motivation, about serving my family, about laziness, about sleep. Every morning Satan assaults my mind with reasons that I should go back to bed. They always sound legitimate and I can justify every single one of them. Then when I awake, and half the day is gone, the assault continues about my worthlessness and my laziness. I become paralyzed in inadequacy and self-doubt.I get very little done before my children are home from school. Then Satan insults again…house unkept, no laundry done, dirty dishes still on the counter.

And he wins………..I feel discouraged, worthless.

I have forgotten who I am:

A child of God    John 1:12
Friend of Jesus   John 15:15
Chosen   Ephesians 1:3-8
Free from condemnation    Romans 8:31-39
Born of God   1 John 5:18

I must take back what Satan has stolen from me. I must proclaim and live who I am in Christ. My light must shine. I must claim my victory through Christ’s victory.

I must remember who I am in Christ.