I am a people pleaser. There. I said it.
To some it may not seem like such a big deal. After all, it's not like confessing a mortal sin, but it can be debilitating just the same. People pleasers get caught up in making everyone around them happy, sometimes in direct contradiction to their own feelings or desires. It is one reason that I hate and avoid conflict. I just want everyone to be happy. It also prevents us from being ourselves. We try to be like chameleons that can blend into any situation. In meeting new people, I tend to be quiet and reserved while I figure out where I fit into that particular group of people.
I was deeply convicted this morning by Paul in the book of Galatians. He writes, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." (1:10)
Ok...anyone else challenged by that? Re-read that last sentence very slowly. I cannot please men and serve Christ at the same time. Paul has never been one to pull any punches has he? He says it like it is. He preaches over and over again that we have been set apart and chosen by God into a special calling. God doesn't expect us to carry out His calling all on our own. He sent the Holy Spirit has our helper (John 14:16-17). Too many times we try to attain our God-given calling by our own human efforts. And when we fall into this trap, we begin trying to please men all over again.
Today my prayer is to walk in the Spirit of his calling where there is life and peace. And when I meet you someday in real life, I'll try my best to just be myself!!
Oh my friend.... it's hard isn't it? I am the exact same way. I hate conflict. Trying to please everyone is actually a struggle. I know first hand. Especially since this project I have started.... just be yourself! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is such a challenge for me as well! I'm learning to be who God made me to be and focus on pleasing Him. It's not fun when that doesn't please other people, but it's my Heavenly Father's approval that I'm looking for!
ReplyDeleteWhen I waited tables in college I had written in my order book, "If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." I have to tell it to myself often. It's hard being a people pleaser... I currently have a stress knot in my shoulder from it! May we press on toward the goal that has been laid before us, which isn't pleasing all people. ;) Thanks for being real! ♥ Michelle
ReplyDeleteSo true. I've been praying/thinking/agonizing/wrestling through the real difference between believe and conviction. Convictions cannot be compromised. I find most of what I thought were convictions are really just beliefs but when the rubber meets the road, I cave and look more for the "applause of men" - sigh... it's a daily walk.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting. Glad I found your blog.
Great post and so true...I've dealt with being a people pleaser and it floors me sometimes when I don't realize how I let it go until someone tries to walk all over me and I find myself, having to take a deep breathe and going..okay..back to square one again..how do I not do this, this isn't about men but our Father so stop worrying about men and remember..its all Him.
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